Facing my Vulnerabilities

Very few people if any have the perfect life, the perfect/ body/ diet/ training program/ coach. I will freely admit it. I am one of those. I constantly battle self doubt about nearly everything that I do. 

Am I doing the right thing? Will people listen? Am I worth listening to?  Is what I am saying correct? What if I put the weight back on? Am I setting the right example? What if I don't get any better on the bike? Am I a fraud? Do others see me as  a fraud? Will I fail? Again!

Moving to a Primal Lifestyle and then choosing to make that a part of my classes was a massive move for me. Did I know enough about it to try to teach others? Even writing this podcast about my journey I face the fact that I know I am not a literary genius ( a fact my wife reminds me of regularly) and I struggle to not come across sounding conceited or disjointed or inconsistent.

What can I do about it? That after all is the age old question to all us looking to make improvements in our lives, whether it be in business, training, body composition or life. 

Step 1: Stop making excuses! It's up to me. Plain and simple. No one else will change things for me so stop sitting around doing and saying the same old stuff day after day. If I want change, then make a start. 

Step 2: Start with the truth. My truth. Why am I like I am? Why do I need to change? What do I need to do to change? 

Step 3: Starting at the start. Some may start with making a plan. For me I think starting was more important than planning. By starting I was already moving in the right direction. Stopping before I start to make a plan would only delay the building of momentum.  I started moving then worked on my plan as I went. 

Step 4: Acceptance.  Accept that there will be good days and bad days, I will possibly get sick, I might not get the results I want straight away. I needed to let go of needing to control the outcome. 

Step 5: Get some consistency. Missing a day or two through sickness is not a cause for alarm. But when I was missing entire weeks through lack of sleep (self induced) or stress or just plain old laziness. There is little wonder to why I never achieved the heights I constantly said I was striving for. 

My progress in to health has had some road bumps. I have self doubt and moments of shear terror that I am failing those that work with me and trust me. But when I train people and they tell me that they are feeling stronger or losing weight or feeling better with in them selves. It spurs me on and gives me that little bit self belief that I can do this and I am on the right path. 

Facing my vulnerabilities is hard. I have had to look honestly at my self and my failings and self doubts and start to face them. Will I ever get that zen state where I feel everything is falling in to place. Will I get my training performance where I want it? Will I get the body I always say I want? Will the training programs I write spur people on and motivate them to achieve the results that they want?  I don't know. I hope I do but if it doesn't I know I will have fought like hell to get there. Because in the end the result is irrelevant. The journey is the good stuff. It is where the story is. It is where the fun happens. 




Posted on January 23, 2017 .